When you know someone really well, and you know she’s in pain, how do you know what she needs to hear? Sometimes, “it’ll be okay” just doesn’t sound…enough. The things that you love about her, all those little details…like the way she scrunches her nose, or can’t speak without her hands, that stuff…also include the things that make her cry. When you love someone, truly love someone, it’s hard to separate out the things that make her insecure from the things she knows she rocks.
So, when she hurts, you feel it digging away at you. You want it to stop, you don’t care how. If you have any illusions that she can’t take care of herself, ask a strong, independent woman if there’s anything you can do to help. The answer will be direct and terse.
Just another thing about her you love.
But when she hurts, all you want to do is take it away. You want to hold her and with those magical “it’ll be okay” words, you want it to just stop hurting. Because when she hurts, you hurt too. And you’d do anything, even take it upon yourself, to save her that pain.
Because you could take it so much better than her? Doubtful. That woman you love shoulders more pain than you can imagine, sometimes. Maybe the solution then is not to try to take the pain, she’s got that. She’ll handle that just fine with or without you, because she has been this whole time. No, maybe what you need to do…is give her a reason to smile. We all need that, when we hurt.